Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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