i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize