i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
