Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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