New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
