she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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