since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
