im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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