I understand Curling. That high.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
