I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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