Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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