i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
