that's an acceptable place to lick
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
