"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
