yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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