We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
