is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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