He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
