you guys were way drunker than both of me
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize
