You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize