sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Randomize
