2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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