I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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