Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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