Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
