you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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