Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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