Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
