My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
