whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
