Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
