big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
