I need help removing her.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
