it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
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