with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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