and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
