dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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