Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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