Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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