Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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