She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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