I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize