drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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