I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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