Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
