Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
