you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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