While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
