Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
