Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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