Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
