It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize