I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
