No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
