Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You're a waste of cheezeits
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
