and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
