Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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