oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
