I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
