You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
