all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
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Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
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I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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