I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
