I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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