I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
