the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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