are you still at the devil's house?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
